A little culture...

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
From: Brad Donison
Keywords: chuckle, forwarded, originally appeared in Sep, 1998
Date: Mon, 23 Feb 2004 19:20:00 PST


Cultural differences explained:

Ausssies:  Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits:     Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies:   Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when
abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:     Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits:     Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies:   Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches,
to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits:     Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other
fans.
Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and
basketball.
Brits:     Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and
how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies:   Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in
every sport they played them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits:     Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies:   Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say

Brits:     Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor
in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor
in a backwards country.

Aussies:   Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
bothered to sing them.
Brits:     Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
the anthem.

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits:     Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies:   Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Brits:     Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past
citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present
citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once
Canadian.
Aussies:   Wollow on about how some of their past citizens were once
outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:     Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited things.
Aussies:   Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid
assimilation.
Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old
ways.
Brits:     Encourages immigrants to go to Canada or America.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits:     Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies:   Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Aussies:   Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great commedians, like John Candy, Martin
Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Brits:     Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them
because they don't understand subtle humor.

--
>From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and
Jim Griffith.  This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup
rec.humor.funny.

Web users, you can read a random joke from the archives just by bookmarking
	http://www.netfunny.com/cgi-bin/randomurl/rhf/jokes/masterlist
-- end of forwarded message --

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