From: Todd E Van Hoosear (vanhoose@manetheren.cl.msu.edu)
Date: 10/22/03
[Forwarded by Anne-Marie Rosselli]
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long
and have healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that
man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and
brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And man and woman
gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with
which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it
needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went
through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra
pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have
to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth
the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in
cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery . . .
And Satan created HMOs.
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```'' T o d d E V a n H o o s e a r
(._.) vanhoose@spamoff (SPAM FILTER ON)
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VENI, VIDI, VICE -- I came, I saw, I partied.
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