From: Todd E Van Hoosear (vanhoose@manetheren.cl.msu.edu)
Date: 10/10/03
Have a great 4th of July!
- Todd
[Forwarded by Susan Valeri]
[Forwarded by Patrick Sherman]
How many Michigan college students does it take to change a light bulb?
At Michigan State it takes two thousand. One to change the bulb, and the other one thousand nine hundred ninety nine to riot and set it on fire.
At Michigan it takes three. One to change it and the other two to talk about how they did it every bit as good as an ivy leaguer.
At Grand Valley State and Alma it takes ten, one to change the bulb and the other nine to sit around and watch because it is the big entertainment of the evening.
At Ferris it takes zero. They are all too drunk from the night before to care whether or not the lights are on.
At Eastern it takes four. One to change the bulb, one to steal the new bulb from the store, one as a look out, and one to drive the getaway car.
At Central Michigan it takes nine. One to screw it in and the other eight just screw each other in celebration.
At Wayne State it takes zero. Who wants to be in Detroit after dark anyway?
At Western it takes twelve, two to figure out how to screw it in and ten other drunks to find an ugly enough lamp shade to match their school colors.
At Adrian it takes zero. There is no electricity in Adrian, only cows and corn.
At Northern it takes five. Four to strap on snow shoes and hike 10 miles to the nearest store to get the new bulb and one to screw it in.
At Michigan Tech and Kettering University it takes twenty. One to change the bulb and the other nineteen to find a new way to engineer it so it never has to be changed again.
At Hillsdale, Albion, and Kalamazoo it takes zero. They have Mommy and Daddy pay someone to do it for them.
At Saginaw Valley it takes five, one to bring the weed and four to smoke it while they all imagine they screwed it in.
At Oakland it takes zero, they can't afford light bulbs just like they cannot afford a football team.
At Macomb it takes zero, they live at home, mom and dad control the lights.
At Calvin, Aquinas, and Cornerstone it takes 20. One to praise the Lord for light and the other 19 to contemplate how to screw without it being against their religion.
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```'' T o d d E V a n H o o s e a r
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(_) http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/
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"Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely."
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