From: Todd E Van Hoosear (vanhoose@manetheren.cl.msu.edu)
Date: Mon Mar 03 2003 - 19:05:25 EST
From: Todd Van Hoosear
From: VanHoosear, Ellis
From: Annette Chandler
READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END-THERE'S A TRICK TO IT.
Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW Barbie
dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more
realistic...
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames
in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print
editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes
with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers
grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with
tummy-support panels are included.
5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the
pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler
filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along
with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa
Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car,
and Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little
copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of
Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.
Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In
Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
If you forward to 11 people a video comes on your screen. This works. I
don't know how...but it works
This is the coolest thing I've ever gotten! All you have to do is send it
to 11 people and this little video comes up on your screen and shows the
funniest clip. I can't tell you what it is, but I couldn't stop laughing
so hard I was crying! So spend a few seconds to send this and you'll be
glad you did!
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```'' T o d d E V a n H o o s e a r
(._.) vanhoose@123.lalaland.cl.msu.edu (SPAM FILTER ON)
(_) http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/
`---' SPAM FILTER: Replying to me is as easy as !123
"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking."
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