[Excerpts from Jeff Foxworthy's humor.]The nearest liquor store is brewing in your basement
You repaint your pink flamingo every spring...but not your trailer
You think an oil change involves a comb & a bottle of vitalis
Your college gradutation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18 wheeler
Your bridal vail was made of window screen
People hear your car a long time before they see it
You think safe sex means putting on the emergency brake
You've ever given livestock as a wedding present
Your favorite cologne is Deep Woods Off
Your pickup truck & wife are the same age
You use old auto parts as a boat anchor
You've ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle
You've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery
Your bathroom deodorizer is a box of kitchen matches
Your toothbrush is a hand-me-down