Here are some excerpts from a journal I subscribe to. It's pretty funny stuff... :)- Todd
================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1995-02 February, 1995
------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-02-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes
C. We are preparing a report on Improbable Research at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory. This will be the first in a chronic series of reports devoted to improbable research at the world's great scientific and medical institutions. Each report will be accompanied by a review of the cafeteria.
------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-02-03 Valentine's Chocolate Survey: Phase I Results
1088 people participated in Phase I of the 1995 AIR St Valentine's chocolate survey. We would like to thank each and every one of you - especially those who were kind enough to vote more than once.
73.27% of respondents were male; 25.42% were female; 1.03% could not or would not reveal their gender; 0.28% claimed to be both.
AGGREGATE PREFERENCES 62.34% prefer dark chocolate, 33.37% prefer milk chocolate, 1.03% voted for white chocolate, 1.78% were undecided. In addition, there was one vote each for light turkey, light beer, dark beer, marzipan and chocolate licorice. One person preferred the white chocolate in the form of a bunny. Two votes were of the X-rated variety. The answer "yes" was given twice.
We also received one Haiku.
There was one person who reported being born on Valentine's Day, and one person who reported being lactose intolerant and who considers milk chocolate to be the spawn of Satan. Seven people pointed out that we confused sex with gender and one gave the following reference: "Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn of the Millenium," by Judith Martin, page 192. One person suggested an age factor be brought into the study, and two people recommended we examine the gender of the chocolate, i.e. with or without nuts.
As you may have noticed, we added white chocolate into the survey even though it was omitted from the original questionaire. This was suggested by a number of individuals, not all of whom voted for white chocolate. On the other hand, we recieved the following comment "White chocolate is an aberrant albino abomination which I'm glad to see you're ignoring."
[...]
------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-02-07 Missing Matter
This space intentionally left nearly blank.
----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-02-09 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"Data manipulation: Dr. Factifuge Meets the Three Stooges," by P.F. Dillon, "Perspectives in Biology and Medicine," vol. 33, 1990, pp. 231-236. The paper concerns how to deal with a changing baseline. (Thanks to Joe Clark for bringing this to our attention.)
------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1995, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------
Reprinted with Permission
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - T o d d E. V a n H o o s e a r - ``'''vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu - vanhoose@msu.edu - vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu (._.) Michigan State University - East Lansing, MI USA (_) Computer Laboratory - Department of Communication `---' <A HREF="http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/">My Home Page</A> "Fall behind early so you'll have more time to catch up later." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~