Path: msuinfo!agate!library.ucla.edu!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!nntp.cs.ubc.ca!torn!uunet.ca!uunet.ca!xenitec!looking!funny-request Message-ID: <S6d1.15fc@clarinet.com> Date: Fri, 27 May 94 19:30:04 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: tracy.schuhwerk@sdrc.com (Tracy Schuhwerk) Subject: An Obscene Phone Callers Worst Nightmare! Keywords: original, smirk, true Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 103[Originally posted to alt.shenanigans]
I don't know if this qualifies as a "shenanigan" or not, but last I night had some fun with an obscene phone caller!
Before reading this, I have to tell you that I am a male. Having the first name Tracy leads to stuff like this happening from time to time...
[ Some names have been changed to protect the ignorant ]
The Scene: 3:30 in the morning, my bedroom... last night. I'm dead asleep! You hear the ringing of a the phone right behind my head on the head board.
[RING]
Tracy: <Blink> "Huh?"
[RING]
Tracy (picking up the phone): "Hello?"
Mysterious Caller: (In a deep raspy voice) "I want to lick your [fill in the blanks here]"...
Tracy (mind still fogged with sleep): [Silence]
[Click] The phone hangs up...
Tracy (looking at his caller ID system): "Cool..."
I get up and jot down the phone number... This is where the fun begins!
Since I am now awake and will need a few minutes to get my blood pressure back down to somewhat near normal, I decided to have fun with the obscene caller!
I went down to my PC and fired it up... tossed the US Residential Phone Book CD ROM for the mid-west into the drive and did a quick search on the phone number I jotted down from the caller ID.
Within seconds, I had the name and address attached to the number! Michael Smith, 837 Appletree Lane... Got it... This is going to be fun!
After jotting down the information, I grab the phone...
[RING]
(A familiar voice answers the phone... it is the person who called me just minutes before)
Michael: "Hello??"
Tracy (In a well practiced "Voice of Pure Evil"(tm)): "Hello Michael, remember me? You wanted to lick me..." [CLICK]
(The "VoPE" is best described as James Earl Jones having a "Bad Voice Day"...)
I waited about 5 minutes... and picked the phone up again...
[RING]
[RING]
Michael: "Uh, Hello??" Tracy (using the "VoPE" again): "837 Appletree Lane, Michael... I know where you live!" [CLICK]
One more time... waiting about 5 minutes... I pick up the phone...
[RING]
[RING]
[RING]
Michael (voice a bit shaky): "He... Hello???"
Tracy (once again, the "VoPE"): "I'm coming for you Michael!" <CLICK>
I went back to bed... :-)
I think Michael might have had trouble doing that himself!
Isn't technology GRAND! :-)
-- Tracy Schuhwerk
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-- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - T o d d E. V a n H o o s e a r - ``''' vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu - vanhoose@msu.edu - vanhoose@roundtable.msu.edu (._.) Michigan State University - East Lansing, MI USA (_) Computer Laboratory - Department of Communication `---' http://rs560.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Kipling ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~