Forwarded message: >From vanhoose Sat Oct 16 18:45:12 1993 Date: Sat, 16 Oct 93 18:45:10 -0400 From: Todd E. Van Hoosear <vanhoose> To: todd Subject: Cheers! X-Status:Date: Mon, 12 Apr 93 23:55:58 -0400 From: Todd E. Van Hoosear <todd> To: &friends, &comm Subject: Cheers!
Okay, if Pteri already sent this out to some of you, sorry. But here it is, a somewhat comprehensive guide to Normisms.
Don't forget to watch that last episode. I hear not only is Shelly Long going to be on it, but also Mr. Prez.! Kinda diggy, eh?
BTW, hope ya all had a Happy Easter, or at least a good Passover, or just a nice week in general!
:) Todd (:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
>From msuinfo!uwm.edu!wupost!darwin.sura.net!gatech!psuvax1!psuvm!stc105 Mon Apr 5 17:15:09 1993 Path: msuinfo!uwm.edu!wupost!darwin.sura.net!gatech!psuvax1!psuvm!stc105 Organization: Penn State University Date: Wed, 31 Mar 1993 22:13:22 EST From: <STC105@psuvm.psu.edu> Message-ID: <93090.221322STC105@psuvm.psu.edu> Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Canonical List of Normisms Lines: 263
This is my first post of this list. If anyone finds any repeats, etc., please let me know via e-mail. Also, if anyone has any that they'd like to see if future posts, feel free to send them to me. Thanks. =========================================================================
Woody: "What's shakin' mister Peterson?" Norm: "All four cheeks and a couple of chins."
Woody: "How's it goin' Mr. P.?" Norm: "It's a dog-eat-dog world out there and I'm wearin' Milkbone underwear."
Woody: "Can I draw you a beer Mr. P.?" Norm: "I know what they look like, just give me one."
Woody: "What's goin' down Mr. P.?" Norm: "My butt on that stool."
Norm: "I'm the ideal weight for someone 10 feet tall."
To change the subject for a second:
No Help Wanted:
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm? Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach: How about a beer, Norm? Norm: Hey I'm high on life, Coach.... Of course, beer is my life.
Fortune and Men's Weights:
Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm? Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
Coach: What's up, Norm? Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.
Snow Job:
Coach: What's shaking, Norm? Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.
Coach: Beer, Normie? Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young.
Norman's Conquest:
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera? Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)
Coach: What's up, Normie? Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach.
Diane Meets Mom:
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie? Norm: Going down?
Coach: What's up, Norm? Norm: Everything that's supposed to be.
Peterson Crusoe:
Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face. Norm: [mutters] Afternoon, everybody. All: Norm? (Norman?)
The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter:
Sam: What's new, Normie? Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.
King of the Hill:
Coach: What'll it be, Normie? Norm: Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.
The Mail Goes to Jail:
Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Daddy wuvs you.
Behind Every Great Man:
Sam: What'd you like, Normie? Norm: A reason to live. Gimmie another beer.
Norm: Afternoon, everybody. All: Norm! Cliff: Afternoon, everybody. All: [silence]
The Executive's Executioner:
Sam: What will you have, Norm? Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap. Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm. Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
Birth, Death, Love and Rice:
Sam: What do you say, Norm? Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.
Woody Goes Belly Up:
Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Hiya, sailor. New in town?
Diane's Nightmare:
Norm: [coming in from the rain] Evening, everybody. All: Norm! (Norman!) Sam: Still pouring, Norm? Norm: That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday:
Sam: What's the good word, Norm? Norm: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Sam: Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer... Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah... Sam: One heartburn cocktail coming up.
Love Thy Neighbor:
Sam: Whaddya say, Norm? Norm: Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes.
The Bar Stoolie:
Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.
Tan 'n Wash:
Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you? Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.
Norm: Hey, everybody. All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich] Norm: [carries on both sides of the conversation himself] Norm! (Norman.) How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson? Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.
Home is the Sailor: [the bar is completely different, since Sam went sailing around the world and sold the bar]
Norm: Hey, everybody. Woody: Norm! [nobody else in the bar says anything] Norm: That's it, I'm leaving.
Norm: [comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer, as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain] Customer: Norm! Norm: [quietly] Not now!
Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2:
Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson? Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.
A Kiss is Still a Kiss:
Sam: How's life treating you? Norm: It's not, Sammy, but you can!
Let Sleeping Drakes Lie:
Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson? Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody? Woody: For a beer? Norm: No, for stupid questions.
Airport V:
Woody: What's the story, Mr. Peterson? Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending.
One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape, Part 2:
Pepe: [something in Spanish]
Bar Wars II: The Woodman Strikes Back:
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you. Norm: I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.
Don't Paint Your Chickens:
Sam: Beer, Norm? Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.
Call Me, Irresponsible
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson? Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.''
Feeble Attraction:
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?
It's a Wonderful Wife:
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood.
Q: Whatcha up to Norm? (said by Sam) A: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.
"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour."
"How's life treating you, Norm?" "Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."
"Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."
"How's life in the fast lane?" "Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp."
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty."
"What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
"How about a beer, Norm?" "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."
"What's up, Normie?" "My nipples, it's freezing out there."
Sean Carpenter "Remember, this is for posterity, STC105@psuvm.psu.edu so be honest."
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx........................ Todd E. Van Hoosear todd@cl-next4.cl.msu.edu "You only live once, so live under as many false names as possible." ---Dana McManus ..........................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX